Oyate News - News For The Sisseton Wahpeton Oyate Community

Sweetgrass Wacanga October is Domestic Violence Month and Fundraiser


Last updated 10/18/2021 at 4:11pm

Remember to put this on this on your lunch list for Friday 10/22/21. Taco, Drink, Dessert $10. To place a order call 605-698-4129. A great cause to support plus a free appreciation gift!

October is Domestic Violence Prevention Month and today we are sharing information on "Why People Stay" It's not as easy as simply walking away. Abusive relationships are extremely complex situations and it takes a lot of courage to leave. Beyond the physical risks of leaving an abusive situation, there are countless other reasons why people stay in their relationships. Common reasons why people stay are:

Fear - A person will likely be afraid of the consequences if they decide to leave their relationship, either out of fear of their partner's actions or concern of their own ability to be independent.

Normalized abuse - If someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not know what healthy relationshops look like. As a result, they may not recognize that their partner's behaviors are unhealthy or abusive.

Shame - It can be difficult for someone to admit they've been or are being abused. They may feel that they've done something wrong, that they deserve the abuse, or that experiencing abuse is a sign of weakness. Remember that blame-shifting is a common tactic their partner may use and can reinforce a sense of responsibility for their partner's abusive behaviors.

Intimidation - A survivor may be intinidated into staying in a relationsho[p by verbal or physical threats or threats to spreak information, including secrets or confidential details (such as revenge pron, etc.) For LGBTQ people who haven't come out, threats to out someone may be an opportunity for abusive partners to exert control.

Low self esteem - After experiencing verbal abuse or blame for physical abuse, it can be easy for survivors to believe those sentiments and believe that they're at fault for their partners abusive behaviors.

Lack of Resources - Survivors may be financially dependent on their abusive partner or have been denied opportunities to work, a place to sleep on their own, language assistance, or a network to turn to during moments of crisis. These factors can make it seem impossible for someone to leave an abusive situation.

Cultural context - Traditional customs or beliefs may influence someone's decision to stay in an abusive situation, whether held by the survivor or by their family and community.

Children - Many survivors may feel guilty or responsible for disrupting their family unit. Keeping the family together may not only be something that a survivor may value, but may also be used as a tactic by their partner to guilt their partner into staying.

Love - Experiencing abuse and feeling genuine care for a partner who is causing harm are not mutually exclusive. Survivors often still have strong, intimiate feelings for their abusive partner. They may have children together, want to maintain their family, or the person abusing them may simply be charming and the survivor may hope that their partner will change.

No matter the reason, leaving any relationship can be difficult; doing so in an abusive situation can feel impossible with the right access to support. For support you can call Wac'ang'a Sweetgrass program 1-888-200-4492.


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